It's Only a Game
by dieofthatroar
Summary: A game of strategy, a game of wits, and a game of chance: three times Shikamaru finds himself a bit over his head with the Sand Siblings. Shikatema
1. Gaara

A/N: In response to chapter 700... I'm not so sure Temari would agree to up and leave her village and her family, so I propose this instead.

**Shikamaru and Gaara**

Shikamaru hated sand. After a week in Suna, the little grains were in every crevice of his clothing, and he couldn't get the dry taste out of his mouth. As he waited outside the Kazekage's office, he took the opportunity to pour a tiny desert out of his shoes while pretending not to see the contemptuous stares from his teammates. They didn't bother him in the slightest, he wasn't here for them.

After the war, many of the shinobi were accepting cleanup missions with groups from different villages. Both for functionality – they sent teams to areas they were familiar with from battle – and to secure the international bonds they had created when they had fought side by side. Shikamaru wasn't convinced it would work, and the three Suna nin that had been placed under him were irritated they still had to take orders from another village, but he just sighed and did what he knew was best for leaf. A little sand in his jacket wouldn't kill him, and of all the villages it was most important to _him_ that Konoha had good ties to Suna.

He wasn't sure when the exact moment that specific inter-village relationships became a priority for him personally, but however tiresome, he tended to accept any mission to Suna available. _Why_ was something he didn't want to discuss, and no matter how many of those damn looks Kakashi gave him. He would always grumble about how he was already familiar with the area and therefore it was less troublesome to find his way around.

The door opened, and he and his team were motioned in. _Yeah, familiar…_

* * *

><p>The report they delivered was short. It was an unremarkable routine mission with no surprises. Gaara sat at his desk, back straight, with boredom playing around his eyes. He didn't say a word through the mission account, and silently nodded as he was handed the completed documents. Only as Shikamaru turned to leave did the Kazekage speak.<p>

"Nara, you stay for a moment." Gaara motioned to a couple guards standing near the door. "You both can leave early, I don't have any more meetings for the rest of the day and Kankuro will be back by nightfall."

"But Kazekage-sama, the leaf-nin-" one of the Suna shinobi started, but was cut off by Gaara with a wave of his hand.

"Is very trustworthy, I assure you. And fully capable of defending me as well in case of attack. No need to worry."

"Yes, sir," they answered, still not completely convinced, but exited the office without further comment. Gaara turned his attention back to Shikamaru with a deep sigh, who only raised an eyebrow in question.

"They do their job well, but if we're being realistic, anyone who could get past my defenses aren't going to be stopped by a couple chuunin standing by the door."

Shikamaru shrugged. "More eyes?"

"That would be true if they were sensory type," he said as he shuffled some papers on his desk. Some of the tension in his mouth disappeared as he cleared the last of his work from his line of sight. "You're doing good work with us. I know its hard getting some of the others to completely trust foreign commanders, even now. But I think you've started getting through to some of them. I wrote to Kakashi to extend your stay for a few more days."

Shikamaru cocked his head, "another mission?"

Gaara didn't answer. Instead, he slowly moved from behind his desk and wandered over to a small cupboard at the far side of the room.

"Temari says you enjoy shogi?"

He removed a well-worn board from the shelf, positioned it near the window and sat at one end, not waiting for a response from the shadow nin. Shikamaru hadn't moved from where he stood during his report.

"She never plays me when I ask," he said, quietly watching Gaara carefully place each piece to start the game a half a room away.

"She's not a fun opponent anyway," he responded with a slow shrug. "Too impatient. Not that she wouldn't be good if she put in the time." Gaara looked up at Shikamaru when he heard a huff of a laugh. "You agree."

"I convinced her to play me once. She was good enough to come up with an impressive strategy. Unfortunately it was also a pretty famous one that is easy to beat if you recognize it. She got angry and called shogi a memory game, not a tactic game, and refused to ever play me again."

Gaara chuckled gently. "Would you indulge me in a game if I promise to be more tolerant than my sister?"

Shikamaru agreed after a beat, and uprooted himself from where he stood, trying to mask his unease in the situation with the languid pace of his walk to the board. As he eased himself down, the Kazekage started their game.

Some time into the match, the two were at a stalemate. Gaara, who had relaxed into his cushion by pulling one knee up to his chest, was quietly examining the board with focused eyes. Shikamaru had never realized how young Gaara looked. His posture and the slight relaxation around his eyes made his Kazekage mask fall away and what was left was childlike.

Temari had told him once that Gaara didn't have any small scars. The nicks and scrapes from stray shuriken or rubble in battles that accumulated over his skin since entering academy marked Shikamaru and many others as shinobi. Marred skin was a sign of experience. The Kazekage's skin, however, was soft and spotless, adding to his strange air of purity. _Small_ scars, of course, was what Temari mentioned. Anything bigger – anything that had broken through his ultimate defense – must have left marks much more than skin deep. But those were all covered by his robes, and to an outsider watching their quiet game, Gaara looked like a kid who had never seen battle.

Shikamaru knew better of course, but he couldn't stop his mind from flipping between seeing his opponent as Gaara the powerful commander, and Gaara the child. It was disconcerting.

He observed it couldn't just be the scars. Shinobi carried their experience in other ways – wariness of others and attention to surroundings manifested in your posture and attitude, the fatigue of seeing too many battles that accumulated in your features. Somehow, Gaara seemed immune to those as well. Perhaps it was a function of his near impenetrable defenses that he lowered his outward guard, or it was just years of subdued emotional expression. Either way, his innocence was a pretense – but not one he thought Gaara meant to portray.

Gaara's eyes flashed in the slowly warming light of the late afternoon sun, and he smiled as he finally moved his piece. Shikamaru suddenly realized he should have been paying more attention to the game, and less on his analysis of the player.

"You're good," he commented, impressed at the complexity of strategy that was beginning to emerge in play.

"You're surprised," Gaara replied, still wearing that soft smile. "Thought you would have to go easy so as to not spark international conflict?"

"I didn't realize you had time to practice."

"When I still had Shukaku, I had all the time in the world. And it's calming," he said as he lifted his eyes to look at his opponent. "I think you feel similarly."

Shikamaru didn't deny it. "Do you play with Kankuro?"

Gaara shook his head with a quiet laugh. "He's almost as bad as Temari. I play with Baki mostly, although sometimes I feel like he's only humoring me. Picks the same strategy over and over. It's a nice change to go against someone else who appreciates the tactics."

Minutes after they lapsed into silence again, Shikamaru couldn't get comfortable enough to enjoy the game. The rhythmic clicks and attention on the pieces were normally enough to stop the constant bombardment of thoughts that held him hostage. Shogi's gentle focus put his mind at ease, but in this particular game against the child-commander, it wasn't enough. In an uncharacteristic fashion, he broke the relative peace again.

"Why do you want me to stay in Suna?"

Gaara steadied his hand that was reaching for a piece, and slowly pulled it back to his lap. After opening his mouth a couple times, he finally answered, "In battle, you look out for certain people over others. It's inevitable, even if it leaves you more vulnerable. You know this. With my siblings, it's easy. Second nature. I've been in so many battles with them I know their chakra like mine. I can sense that they always know where I am as well. It has always been like that with us, even... Even before..." He reached back for the piece and advanced it. "During the war though, Temari wasn't just tracking me and Kankuro. She was tracking you as well. You're making my sister vulnerable."

Shikamaru's eyes widened a fraction, but he wouldn't let himself react any more visibly. "I was under the impression you thought bonds with people made you stronger."

Gaara smiled, but this time it had more of the feel of a grimace. "Yes, as Naruto has so keenly pointed out many times, our strength comes from these bonds. I am, however, not as trusting as Naruto is with others intentions. I am not one to take these relationships between people lightly."

"Maybe she was just looking out for me because I was the proxy after you-"

"Don't give me that shit." Shikamaru almost dropped the piece in his hand. The childlike demeanor evaporated for a moment and Shikamaru distinctly recalled what Gaara was like the first time he encountered him. Neither kid, nor commander, only weapon.

"I-I don't know what you mean."

"Are you scared, Nara?" Gaara looked at him pointedly, studying his features.

Shikamaru didn't answer for a moment. Weighing the risks of what he was about to say. The scales tipped in his mind and he let out his hushed reply, "Are you?"

Gaara's eyes narrowed dangerously, and Shikamaru was suddenly worried he had made the wrong decision. But after a moment, the red head let out a heavy sigh and brought both knees up to his chest. "Of course I am."

Shikamaru studied him once more, still unable to reconcile the many faces of the boy – the man – in front of him.

Gaara continued, "Most people assume I was the only one changed by an opponent at the chuunin exams."

"What does that mean?"

Gaara thought for a moment before answering. "It's clear that the way I looked at the world changed that day. The way I saw myself, and how I saw my relationships to others. Especially my siblings, and I couldn't be more grateful." Gaara ran a hand through his hair and Shikamaru noted how he refused to look at him now. "Before then, I wasn't blind. I understood Temari and Kankuro better than anyone else, I just didn't _care_. But that understanding allowed me to see that I wasn't the only one who came back from Konoha with a different outlook."

"I can't imagine-"

"No, you can't. You didn't know Temari before you fought her, but I've always thought that her fight with you… allowed her to let me close to her again? To forgive me, and accept me back as a brother? I couldn't have come this far without her, and I think I owe part of that to you. My fear has always been that you'll come back to collect on that debt."

"Debt?" Shikamaru asked, stunned. Gaara turned his attention back to the board. Shikamaru's mind, however, was far from the shogi game. "How could I have claim on anything that you've accomplished?"

"Claim is not the same thing. You gave some of yourself to Temari in the tournament, however small. Then that part grew as the years passed. In turn, it seems she has given her heart to you."

Shikamaru felt vaguely like he couldn't breathe. He stared at the board, but saw straight through it, unable to make a move or speak.

"This isn't a puzzle to be solved, Shikamaru. I'm not here to threaten or bully you. Temari is fully capable of that herself. I just need to know so I can help my big sister-"

The shadow nin finally snapped. "What do you want from me? A confession? A declaration of undying lust for her? No. She's the most… inconceivably frustrating woman I know. She gets under my skin, and I just… it just…" he moved his hand to the back of his neck in an agitated motion. "Just festers… until I can see her again. This terrible feeling that makes me _beg_ Kakashi for every Suna mission just so I can see her once, and make this damned feeling go away. It's demeaning, and troublesome, and inconvenient_. _Yes, I love her. Of course I love her. But it's just so _inconvenient._"

"Inconvenient…?" Gaara seemed to be looking at him differently.

"Yes, inconvenient. Because it can never happen. You think that I haven't considered it? Thought of hundreds of ways I could be with her? I'm not clueless; I know how much she means to you and how important she is for Suna. How can I- where do I fit? Like you said. I make her vulnerable. And that's not just her life I'm playing with then, is it? This game," he said, waving his finger at the board. "This silly shogi game, it's going to be a matter of international relations no matter what happens. And you knew that going into it."

"Why does that have to be a bad thing?" Gaara responded. "You don't think there is any merit in the way villages have been cooperating after the war? That this sort of peace can be sustained? How else can we do that besides building true bonds between countries? You're afraid because of what might happen if Suna and Konoha go to war again, but the more we build bonds like yours with Temari, the less likely we are to fight."

"That seems extremely idealistic," Shikamaru scoffed.

"And yet, if we do go to war, neither of us would be able to fight against Temari. It is already happening, we just need to acknowledge it and use it to our advantage – if you would like to think in tactical terms."

Shikamaru snorted. "Tactics? You said this wasn't a puzzle-"

"Will you be Konoha's ambassador?" Gaara said, interrupting him.

Shikamaru blinked a couple times before finding his tongue. "Shouldn't Kakashi appoint that position?"

"He did," Gaara replied, the corners of his mouth turning down slightly. "Although I think his exact words were 'I'm tired of this damn nonsense, you just keep him.' I only agreed with the choice. You would live here half the year."

Although he tried to keep his face neutral, Shikamaru couldn't help the smile that snuck onto his face. "I'm not going to like the weather…" Looking back at the Kazekage, he found that he didn't have to see Gaara the child or Gaara the weapon or Gaara the leader. He could just see Gaara, smiling back at him. He resumed their game of shogi without another word.

* * *

><p>The game ended with Shikamaru barely securing victory after a long fight. Gaara accepted defeat gracefully, and proceeded to clean up the board.<p>

"Temari told me about your 'king,'" Gaara said offhandedly, turning over that shogi piece in his hand. He smirked. "Where do you think those kings come from?"

Shikamaru turned a shade of red. "I don't think-"

"I think I'd rather like being an uncle." Gaara carried on. "I doubt I will ever be a father. I think Temari and Kankuro know that, but I've never told them that I would like to be an uncle." He sighed. "Of course that isn't my choice and I wouldn't want to pressure them in any way."

"But pressuring me seems to be okay," Shikamaru mumbled.

"Ah… I'm not pressuring you. I just wanted to tell someone who wouldn't- someone who wasn't family, I guess. That I would like to be an uncle."

Shikamaru snickered. "You're more talkative than usual."

"No," Gaara replied thoughtfully. "In my experience this is how much I talk when I am amongst friends."

"Friends," Shikamaru repeated, trying the word out on his tongue, and he couldn't taste the grittiness of the sand anymore.


	2. Temari

**Shikamaru and Temari**

The window was locked when Shikamaru got to Temari's apartment. He listened for movement inside as he scaled the wall, and wondered if she had noticed his presence yet. Their meetings were always competitions– one-upmanship is part of the appeal, but he didn't have the patience for it tonight. Breaking any attempt at stealth, Shikamaru hung on to the ledge as he effortlessly used his shadow to unlock the window from the inside and slid in.

As he padded out quietly from the kitchen, he frowned. She must have noticed him by now, but she still hadn't come to meet him like she normally did with a hand on her hip, and a smirk that sends chills up his spine. Instead, Shikamaru went on to find her, following the lone light that was emanating from her room down the hall.

"Tem?" He called out as he pushed the door open, allowing the light to pour into the hallway. He found her standing with her arms crossed, and eyes like murder. Shikamaru hesitated before walking fully into the room.

"Temari, what's wrong?" He asked as he made her way toward her, but she backed away from his advance. When he tried again, she angled herself away, making the space between them another party in the room, their movements a three-way dance.

"No," she said simply. Shikamaru would be lying if he said his heart didn't sink to the floor at the sound of her voice.

"No?"

"No," she repeated. The space between them grew heavier, larger. Too much for the little room, and Temari's anger seemed to be forcing him back out the door. "_You_ don't get to do that. What do you expect from me? From us? How can you just _do that_?"

"I- I don't know what you're talking about-"

"You wouldn't abandon your village-" So she had heard. Of course she had, Shikamaru realized. Her brothers would tell her everything – she most likely knew before he did.

"I'm not! I'll be the ambassador…"

She snorted derisively. "Yeah, sure. Don't expect me to _owe_ you anything for being here. You still have your village, and I have mine."

"What is with you sand nin and _owing_ people things? Can't you believe that I just want to be here with you?" In hindsight, he should have known this would be her reaction, if his conversation with her brother were any indication. But unlike with Gaara, this talk was more personal. And Temari wore her emotions like her brother didn't.

Temari was red in the face. "You're going to expect things. Things I can't give you. We were equals before… Now? I have no idea."

"We can _talk_ about it you know. Instead of assuming you know what I am expecting from you. Sometimes we have to talk about tomorrow."

Shikamaru knew he had stepped over a line. The rules were never acknowledged between them, but they were always present. In the ninja world they lived in you couldn't make some promises – you didn't know if you would return, you didn't know if you would be safe, and you didn't know when a truce would be broken. He snuck into her apartment when he was in Suna, but there was never any expectation for reciprocation. And she didn't wait for him to come again. Their encounters were rough and rushed - passionate if only because it was something they both needed.

They lived in their islands of individual encounters, devoid of strings. At least that's what they had told themselves – their lips told other stories each time they kissed goodbye.

Shikamaru sighed. "I'm tired of this," he admitted, taking a step back. "This can't be all that we can be."

"Stop talking like _we_ are something that exists. There is you, and there is me. Sometimes we fuck, and that's just great, but we don't bring it outside. What makes you think I want it to be anything more?"

"Your little brother seemed to catch on," Shikamaru drawled. "I don't see him hanging around your bedroom, so I think you need to revaluate. Say what you _really_ feel."

That seemed to get her angrier. "You're still so naïve – to believe that this… arrangement… will change anything. We are ninja, Nara, and if you let your emotions for a girl _from another village_ get in the way of your life, you will die."

"Is this you caring about me?" Shikamaru said dryly.

"No, this is me saying exactly what I did when I first met you. You are still such a child!" Temari was shaking as she turned away from him. Shikamaru knew he couldn't get much further in the conversation with her in this state. He yearned to reach out to her, soothe the tension that he could see in her neck, but she wouldn't even let him within a few feet of him. Reaction of a distance fighter, he reckoned. So he gave her the space, and exited into the hallway.

* * *

><p>Laziness, when put in a positive light, was patience. For her, and for himself. He didn't feel a need to leave anytime soon, and he would wait for as long as it took for her to seek him out again. She would, eventually. She always did. But in the meantime, he had indulged his interest in the cracks in the ceiling, and thought about how they had ended up like this.<p>

It wasn't as if he _fell_ for her. If he were to put it in that sort of a metaphor, it would be more of a long stroll downhill full of occasions where he embarrassed himself by tripping over his own feet. When they were planning the chuunin exams together, she had picked on him, calling him a crybaby in an _official meeting_ of all places. Later, he had returned the favor by trapping her in a verbal battle with one of the village elders, with his only contribution was his assertion that _maybe you're just being a bit emotional right now._ She didn't talk to him for a week.

Realizing that it was in both of their best interests to work together peacefully, he invited her to dinner. The dinner had ended in a fight, which ended in a desperate kiss in a back alley, which ended back at her room in the inn she was staying in. They never actually could cooperate without shouting at each other, but now at least they had a way of venting their frustration. And sometimes, the fights were worth it if only for that dangerous smile she gave him when she thought she was winning.

Somewhere between the status quo of closed-door affairs, and (semi) professional working partners, Shikamaru had to admit that he had grown too attached. There was a point, when he was walking back from Suna before the war, that he realized that he already missed her. The loss was felt not because he enjoyed her company or was looking forward to seeing her again – that would be adding to a full self. No, he _needed_ her, and it terrified him.

Once – there had only been one time – that he had seen her cry. It was only a couple weeks after Gaara had been rescued, and he noticed how much tighter security into Suna was. He was on an official mission sent by the Hokage, and because of Konoha's involvement in the rescue effort he was granted passage, but he felt the distinct unease of seeing another village's weakness from within.

When he visited Temari's place that time, she was jittery and distant. He never asked, but she eventually opened up to him about her emotions when Gaara had died. About his troubles controlling his chakra and his sand after coming back to life. About how she didn't feel like she did enough, could do enough, even though she's his older sister and she needed to be there for him. He hugged her close as she confessed her villages' secrets – things that would make them vulnerable – knowing that she trusted him never to tell. She cried herself to sleep, and Shikamaru watched her, knowing that this was it. There was no going back.

But he didn't do anything. Because he was lazy, because he was patient, because he was a coward. He was scared of exactly this – of her saying no to him. Actually stating that this is the last time, and she doesn't want him. Because the good thing about never saying see you soon, is never saying I don't want you to come back.

He heaved himself off of the couch, making his way to the kitchen. Another routine that they never discussed was that Shikamaru always cooked. Not that Temari didn't know how, or Shikamaru was any better at it. It was just that this is how it was done, and they never questioned it.

The smell of the meat and vegetables must have finally lured Temari back out into the open, and Shikamaru handed her a bowl as walked in. She sat down at the small table and ate silently, avoiding eye contact, and not commenting on the taste. Shikamaru eased himself into the chair across from her.

"I'll be stationed in Suna for five to seven months out of the year," he said casually, as if this was just another one of their dinners. "I take missions directly from Gaara when I'm here, or if there are Konoha missions nearby that need my assistance, but most of my time will be spent on deskwork and advising Gaara on issues relating to Konoha." Temari played with a bone she had extracted from the meat. She made no indication that she heard him.

After a couple minutes of silent eating, Shikamaru resumed his one-sided conversation. "When I'm in Konoha, my job will be advising Kakashi on peace negotiations having to do with Suna, or treaties that also involve your village. Because of that, I'll be making frequent trips here even in the months I'm living in Konoha." More silence followed. Shikamaru searched Temari's face for some reaction, but she was as stone faced as ever.

As she finished her meal, she placed her bowl in the sink with a loud clatter, and made a move to go back to her room. Shikamaru reached out with his shadow and caught her before she reached the door.

"Let me go," Temari said, finally acknowledging the other nin.

"Don't walk away again."

"I know you've been practicing since we last did this," she sneered. "But there's only so long you can hold me."

"It's dark in here, it might take a while." _My territory_, he was saying, even though it's her house. _Therefore, my rules._ Temari's domain will always be where there is lots of room, outside where nature does her bidding. Her jutsu was loud in every sense of the word. His was just the opposite. "I don't want to have to hold you. Why can't you talk to me?"

"Because there's nothing to say," she said, almost in defeat. "This isn't you… this isn't us."

"Well I can't seem to figure out what you mean, since you're being pretty clear about the fact that _we_ don't exist."

"I don't think we can go back to how we've done things," Temari tried explaining. "You should just forget about it."

"What?" He exclaimed. She had stopped struggling, but he still bound her because he was unsure of what she would do if she were given her freedom back. "I can't believe you would give up that easily."

"This isn't a game, Shikamaru. If we lose, we die. Or our village suffers. I can't do that to my brothers, and you can't do that to your friends, or your clan."

"Why did you do it at all then?" he almost whispered.

"You came through the window." Her tone made it seem like her answer was obvious. She would have shrugged if she had the ability.

"Anyone could have come through your window," he replied. "You let me in."

"It's convenient," she said simply.

"Don't _lie!_" Shikamaru snapped, and Temari stiffened. He noticed his hands were shaking, which in any situation was a very bad sign. Not only because all his training was to keep this from happening, but because Shikamaru prided himself on being level headed. Still, his hands were shaking, he could feel the sweat dampening his back, and he couldn't hide the anger from his voice when he spoke. "If it was for a quick fuck, you could have anyone in your village. Why did you let _me _in?"

Temari didn't answer. She stood, still surrounded by Shikamaru's shadow, stony eyed and silent.

He tried again, "Why me, Tem?"

When he was met by only the sound of her soft breathing in return, he retracted his shadow with such force that Temari stumbled. She caught herself quickly, putting a hand on the wall beside her. Surprisingly though, she didn't choose to take her leave of the small kitchen.

Shikamaru could feel the heat around his eyes, and he turned away in frustration. Of course, _of course_, he had to cry too. Temari never stopped calling him crybaby, but she knew it was because he cared. She could see that he cared, but she still wouldn't do anything. She wouldn't even leave him now that she was free to. She just watched him as he gripped the kitchen sink until his knuckles turned white, hardly daring to breathe in case it sounded like a sob.

"Because you don't normally have to ask," Temari finally said with an uncharacteristically timid voice. "Because you look at me and you _understand_. I don't have to explain myself or my family to you, and somehow you still keep coming back. Even after seeing all the shit. Because… I thought you would never get in the way."

"In the way of what?"

"My job and my family."

"Heh, fine, I get it. Your duties are more important." Shikamaru turned back to her slowly, shaking his head. "So, if you really don't want this, then you can tell me to leave and I won't come back. But know that I'm keeping this job no matter what you want, because despite how you feel about me, I still value these alliances. This will be good for my village, as well as yours, and you _know_ that I can do it well. I won't turn down this opportunity."

"But?" Temari was waiting for more.

"What's the point of being so careful, if you don't have anything to come back to anyway? What's the point of trying so hard to make this world livable if we can't enjoy it ourselves? There you go. I'm a hedonist. And often… quite often, I let my hedonism control me. But really, I think it's more than that, don't you?"

"Shikamaru, I-" Temari took a breath, like she was searching for the words. "It took a lot out of us to get Gaara where he is now. Both Kankuro and me. A lot of energy and attentiveness that we still have to give every single day. I don't know how much left I have to give, to you, or to anyone. I don't want to let you stay, and then be disappointed that I can't give you everything. Because… I don't think you deserve that." Shikamaru's eyes softened at her confession.

"I'm not asking for anything more than you've already given me," Shikamaru replied, walking toward her, and Temari let him get close for the first time that night. She even leaned in when Shikamaru hugged her, bringing her arms around him as well.

"You are such a sentimental little shit," she finally said with a warm smile, and Shikamaru relaxed into her arms. "I don't want you to leave. And if you accept it might be selfish of me, we can do… this."

Shikamaru buried his face in Temari's hair. "I'll make sure you won't regret it."

"I just hope _you_ don't," she said. Shikamaru didn't respond, just held her tighter.

"It's late," Temari said, blinking up at the clock. "You should go home, Shikamaru."

"I- I don't think I know where that is," he said, letting her go.

Temari rolled her eyes. "Very cute."

"No, I'm completely serious. I was placed in new housing when my stay was extended, and I don't know where it is."

Shikamaru could see that Temari was forcing herself not to laugh, but in the end she lost the battle. Her laughing was musical, something he wanted to listen to all the time, and he grinned back at her.

"Fine idiot, you can stay with me." She nodded her head to the bedroom. "But you know the rules."

He grinned wider as she reached out to pull him toward the door. "Yeah, yeah, no touching your special pillow. Don't go near your closet… crazy woman."

"But you love this crazy woman," she responded, regaining some of her usual challenge in her voice.

"Yes, I think I do."

* * *

><p>AN: Reviews are lovely and appreciated!


	3. Kankuro

**Shikamaru and Kankuro**

He should have known it would turn out like this, if he had learned from Asuma… getting attached just leads to more pain. Not for himself, but for everyone else who wouldn't see him come back. His mother, who had just learned to live without a husband. Mirai, who he had promised to be there for.

Temari, at least _she_ wasn't pregnant.

Because if this was dying, it was too easy. Leaning back in the shadows of the trees, staring up at the clouds as they drifted through a clear sky. Not that he could do much else - at this point he couldn't move his arms or legs, and they hung uselessly from his perch like a drunken man's. The lonely branch was his resting place just because it was the furthest he could run before he fell.

His breathing would stop eventually, Kankuro warned before he left. That would be the end. He would most likely pass out before then, so really it would be just like falling asleep. Falling asleep watching the sky – seems _exactly_ like how he would choose to die. Cruel irony, or a final gift from the universe, he couldn't decide. As long as he still could feel the wind on his face, he thought that it would be okay either way.

He should have been more careful. But the clear hindsight vision never helped anyone, so what is the use. At least the rest of the team knows the kunai are poisoned now. They'll be more careful, and they will finish the mission. No matter what Kankuro thought of him, Shikamaru knew he wouldn't ignore a good strategy. Suna, at least, would be safe.

When he and Kankuro had been assigned the mission together, it had been about a month since Shikamaru moved to sand for the season. Gaara never actually did set up a different set of rooms for him, so Temari just incorporated him into her life like he was always there. It had to be life as usual for her. Never a honeymoon period, or even an acknowledgement that a change had occurred beyond their early fighting. As soon as the question seemed settled she became as practical as ever yet again. This was their life, and this is how they would lead it.

Kankuro, though, acted like it was the end of the world, and was very vocal about his distrust of 'Temari's new housemate.'

"Both of you are insane," he had told his siblings. "I get that he's been good on missions, but can you really trust him? You treat him like he's harmless!"

"Not harmless," Gaara insisted. "Quite useful actually."

"You don't think he'll turn on us, if he gets the chance?"

"I don't think you know Shikamaru very well," Temari had laughed, stuffing her hands into her pockets with a slouch. "Too_ troublesome_," she droned in a mocking voice.

It was never enough to convince Kankuro entirely, but he had worked with him anyway. Because he was a good brother.

A bird chirped to Shikamaru's right, and he had the ability to turn just enough to watch it fly away. They were still within the land of wind, but this forest reminded him of the one on his family's property, and he could almost imagine a deer's footsteps coming from below. _Yes… as long as he had the leaves and the wind, it was a good death._

* * *

><p>Their mission was to find a group of enemy ninja that had crossed the northern border recently. Suna had gotten word that they were venturing closer to the village when they were sent out, although why they were approaching the village was unclear. It was when they had finally tracked them to this forest when it all went to shit.<p>

As soon as the enemy noticed the approach of the sand nin, Kankuro nodded to the two others beside them, and they spread out on either side of the group. They worked easily as a team, and were obviously veterans of many missions together. Shikamaru's movements, though - how he felt in his skin – were changed in the new territory. It took him a moment longer to drop back.

"Shadow boy," Kankuro called, weaving though the trees following the unknown ninja just barely in sight. "What are you thinking?"

"Separate them," he replied, keeping an eye on white clothes of the invading nin. He didn't have power, in the usual sense. In the sense that Naruto had. Shikamaru had his plans and his teammates, and now it felt like he was working with someone else's limbs. He didn't know what Kankuro thought, or how he would order his teammates, and he knew that was a huge handicap to their success.

After an almost undetectable signal, the three Suna nin overtook the rogue closest, and cut him off from the others, allowing Shikamaru engage at a closer range. Kankuro immediately turned, and sending Karasu flying toward him while the rest of the team disappeared into the forest after the invaders.

The rogue dodged the puppet's attacks with ease, but was driven straight into Shikamaru's shadow weaving. It should have been a clean attack, something fast and practiced, but he couldn't predict the timing of the puppet's lunge. He didn't expect the _way_ he would dodge because of it, and as a result he was at a much closer range than he had expected, fighting hand to hand instead of with his jutsu.

Their kunai connected with the loud scrape of metal, and Shikamaru was almost thrown back. He spun and lifted his arm to block the second attack just in time.

As Karasu approached again, Shikamaru found an opening in the distracted ninja's stance. The puppet gave him an opening to grab him with his shadow, fully immobilizing the enemy. A sharp pain in Shikamaru's shoulder told him he had miscalculated the range of his strike, but the ninja was fully in his control.

"You're not going to tell me what you're after, are you?" Shikamaru asked, surprised at the coldness of the tone that left his throat. The rogue only narrowed his eyes and spit at his feet.

"Ah, you see, I don't think you understand the position you're in," Shikamaru continued, twisting his shadow arm around his neck. "But if you're not going to talk, you're not any use to me."

He knew that a snapped neck was a painless death, but it didn't mean he didn't cringe each time he did it. His belongings would talk more than he would, and they didn't have time for an interrogation.

His arm protested as he threw the enemy's pack over his shoulder, but he didn't think much of it as he jumped back up into the trees to continue the pursuit. However, by the time Shikamaru reached Kankuro and the rest of the group, he was breathing hard and he could tell something was off.

"Oi, shadow boy, get it together. It's only a scratch," Kankuro said, noticing he was holding his arm.

Shikamaru's heart beat faster, and his words seem to echo around in his head. This was no normal scratch. He slipped on the next branch, tumbled a few feet before he caught himself. "Poisoned," he managed as he righted himself.

"Oh shit." Kankuro ran up to him, raking his eyes over his shaking body. "Temari's going to kill me."

"Funny," he said between heaving breaths. "I was just thinking the same thing."

"What does it feel like?" Kankuro asked, looking over his wound.

"Like crap."

"Not helpful," he growled. "Be more specific."

"I feel like I'm going to throw up, but I may pass out first."

"A little better. Can you feel your fingers?"

_Now that he mentions it… _"No."

"Okay, now look at me?" Kankuro inspected his eyes, and let out a sigh. "I know what it is, but it isn't something I normally use. My only stock of antidote is back in the village."

Shikamaru didn't blink. "Finish the mission first."

"What? No, you won't make it that long."

Shikamaru fumbled with the scroll he got off of the enemy. "The mission is more important. They're targeting Gaara."

Kankuro skimmed the letter detailing an order for the Kazekage's assassination. "This is very very not good."

"They'll be heading toward the bridge near that northern passage, now if you-"

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Kankuro snarled at him. "We're still getting you back first. We can increase security-"

"No, you_ listen_!" Shikamaru hissed. "I have a plan that will get them now. We know where they're going, so we are in control. We won't have that advantage later – if you follow it precisely, you may still get me back in time... How long do I have?"

"Maybe five hours."

"Ah…"

"And that gives you what percent chance of survival with your brilliant plan?"

"About 40."

Kankuro studied his features with narrowed eyes. "But you have another plan."

Shikamaru smiled, admittedly with a lot of effort, as he dropped his weakened body down onto a branch. "Yes. But that one I'm not telling you because it trades chance of mission failure for my survival."

"Why? If you die, Temari will hate me, and I don't think I can live with it."

"Yes, but it is more important to kill those assassins. What are your priorities? Your village's safety over your own, right Kankuro?"

"Are you trying to prove something, shadow boy?" Kankuro spat.

"I'm setting a precedent."

"Of_ dying_ for another village?"

"Of protecting what I care about even if it is another village," he said with sincerity. It may have been a matter of pride, if Shikamaru was that type of a person. But for someone who relied on shadows his whole life, having to hide his face wasn't a worry. It was putting faith in his convictions that lead him here – he needed to think that his risks were worth it.

"Oh, Temari is definitely going to kill me," Kankuro grumbled, kneeling down to Shikamaru's level. "Okay then, tell me your plan."

* * *

><p>It was elegant – so simple that it was possible for them to finish with enough time retrieve him and head back to the village before the poison got him. However, with each passing minute that he was stuck to the branch on his own, that chance grew smaller, and a growing part of him became frustrated he couldn't do more to save himself.<p>

Perhaps he liked looking at the clouds because he couldn't predict what they would do. They were constantly moving like they had somewhere to go… but in the end it was just turbulence. He couldn't control them, and somehow that eased his mind. Nothing he could think of would get him a tactical advantage over the weather.

Temari could do it though, he laughed to himself. Nothing got in her way when she was on a warpath. She was a storm, and she could control the clouds. It made her unpredictable, just like them. But he liked that.

Shikamaru's lids grew heavier, and it became harder to focus on the leaves shifting in the wind. He knew it was near the end if he passed out, but it got harder and harder to stay conscious. Green faded to gray - he was fighting a losing battle. The moving air brushed his cheek as he finally accepted the darkness. He could still imagine the leaf, shaking above him. He knew it was there, and that was good enough.

* * *

><p>It was the noise that woke him again. It sounded like her, like when she sighs next to his ear early in the morning before she climbs out of bed. He couldn't roll over to pull her back this time though; his limbs were heavier than his will could overcome. As his mind slowly caught up to reality, the whistling only grew loader, and he remembered where he was. Or at least where he had been, because now he was being carried through the forest on the back of one of Kankuro's puppets.<p>

It took every ounce of effort Shikamaru had to catch Kankuro's attention and look at him with enough purpose to convey his question – _did the plan work? Is the village safe? _

"Don't strain yourself," Kankuro said, noticing Shikamaru's slight movement. "We got those assassins, so just, stay awake now, yeah?"

Shikamaru let his eyes flutter closed on the stale wood, focusing his attention back on the wind and the rhythmic creaking of the puppet.

"You better keep breathing, shadow boy." Kankuro huffed, and Shikamaru could hear worry in his voice. "You better not die on me. Temari has had enough shit in her life, she won't be the same if you decide to go too, so don't you fucking stop breathing."

Shikamaru wasn't sure if Kankuro knew he could hear him, he didn't really know if it mattered. He figured he was talking for himself just as much. "You know, if you die, it will be me who has to put everything straight again. She won't listen to anybody else, and she'll try as hard as she can to not bother Gaara with it. So it will be all me, convincing her that life goes on. You still don't know her, shadow boy. You still don't get it. I knew it would turn out like this, but nobody listens to Kankuro until their lives are shit. I'm tired of it always being on me…"

Kankuro kept talking to him the whole way back. Not especially encouraging words, but words that may have kept him alive. Was he being selfish by ordering them away when he did? He wasn't sure. But if he could just make it back without succumbing to the weight that grew heavier and heavier on his chest, it would all be worth it.

* * *

><p>The next time he awoke, it was because of the silence. That, and the fact he could feel the pain in his shoulder again, which he took to be a good sign. When Shikamaru shifted to relieve the pressure on his wound, he sensed someone was watching him.<p>

"Next time, you tell me both plans and I choose which is better," Kankuro ordered, and Shikamaru slowly lifted himself up in the small bed to look up at him. "I'm the leader of the mission, and what I say goes. Not your fantasy of martyrdom."

"Got it, captain," he said, quite earnestly. Kankuro still punched him in the arm. Shikamaru scowled back at him, even though he thought he might have deserved it. He inspected the course brown sheets and dark lighting of the room. He must be back in Suna, but this wasn't a hospital. The tools scattered across the floor and wooden limbs hanging on the wall pointed to an obvious answer. He chuckled, "Temari will never know?"

"I won't tell her if you won't," Kankuro answered.

"Sleeping on the couch would be rather troublesome, I think," Shikamaru agreed.

"Thanks though," he said with a sigh. "Your plan went well, and I know there would have been more casualties if you hadn't been with us. Hell, maybe I'll even request you next time."

"That may arouse suspicion from your siblings," Shikamaru said smirking. "Are you ready to explain that you were wrong about me?"

"I wasn't wrong," Kankuro laughed. "You're still a lazy jackass. You practically napped the whole mission."

"Yes, and I found it quite relaxing," Shikamaru answered, scratching the back of his neck.

"Next time," Kankuro said. "Don't do that."

"Not planning on it."

* * *

><p>AN: Reviews make me happy.

Only an epilogue left!


	4. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

"Iwagakure is getting antsy," Shikamaru said, pacing back and forth in the Kazekage's office. "You know they're going to cross the border soon."

"And I'll wait until then to confront them. I don't want to make a hasty decision and force them to act." Gaara replied, face set.

"They don't work like that. They've already decided that they felt insulted by Ishi's actions, and now it's only a matter of time." He walked over to a large map he had set on Gaara's desk. "If you blockade this route here, they won't have a chance of entering the land of wind. We need to show them that we won't tolerate the threats."

Gaara tilted his head up to study Shikamaru. "That would be an important trade route to Konoha."

"Kakashi agrees that we need to keep this conflict from escalating. Standing firm against Iwa is more important than a some rerouted trade."

"But this conflict has nothing to do with leaf. This would essentially be a Suna action against Konoha."

Shikamaru moved his eyes from the map to meet Gaara's, wondering what he was trying to say. Even after these years of working closely with the Kazekage, it was still hard to read him at times. Gaara almost never showed emotion when in his role as leader, and while the skill has been quite helpful during meetings with other nations, he keeps it up even when it was just the two of them. He wondered if it was on purpose, to keep his motives always close to his heart, or it was just second nature.

"Are you afraid of the repercussions from Konoha, or are you asking if I'm okay with this plan?"

"Neither." Sometimes though, Gaara dropped the coldness for Shikamaru, and he smiled like he did when he was with his siblings at home. "You must be tired, you only just arrived back here. I want you to go home early."

"We aren't done with this," he said, frustrated. "We need to plan-"

"Iwa can wait, I have a meeting with my other advisors in the meantime."

"They're idiots," Shikamaru said, knowing Gaara wouldn't object.

"Yes, but they are idiots that demand to be heard. Just go home, Temari's waiting for you."

"Isn't she on a mission?" Shikamaru asked, confused.

"She finished early," Gaara responded, widening his grin. "Will you play shogi with me tonight?"

Shikamaru laughed. "You only ask to play when you want to discuss something with me."

"That isn't true!" Gaara insisted. "I simply want to relax with my friend."

"Fine," Shikamaru agreed with a wave of his hand while heading out the door. "I'll see you later. Good luck with the idiots." He could almost hear the Kazekage's soft laugh follow him out.

It was four years since he took the job, and somehow the world had yet to go to shit. Konoha and Suna's relations were has strong as ever, and no one in either village seemed to want to kill him yet. An overall success, in his books.

"Hey there, shadow boy!" Kankuro yelled from across the hall when Shikamaru turned a corner. Even he had taken a liking to Shikamaru, although there still seemed to be a distance between them he couldn't overcome. There was never the ease of conversation he seemed to fall into with Gaara. Kankuro still treated him like he was on probation. Shikamaru waited patiently for a time when he wouldn't give him that _look_ each time he outlined a plan, but perhaps it was a good thing that someone kept him on his toes. "I need you on a mission next week, you game?"

"As long as Gaara approves it, yeah," Shikamaru answered.

Kankuro stopped and cocked his head. "You don't need… oh, you just got back, didn't you? Have you been home yet?"

"No – Gaara just let me go."

Kankuro grinned like a cat. "Well get back to me after you do," he said. "I'm ready with the report and I think you'll find this one interesting."

"Right," he said.

Kankuro stepped closer and put a hand on his shoulder. "Good work and all that, Shikamaru."

"I'm not sure…" Shikamaru stammered.

"Just go home," he said with a friendly nudge, before resuming his walk down the hall. Shikamaru stared as his back until he turned the opposite corner, trying to figure out what he was being complimented for. Eventually, he just shrugged, and continued on his way back.

After a year of sharing Temari's tiny apartment (even with Shikamaru going back and forth to Konoha), they decided that it would be in their best interest to get something bigger. Temari refused, even then, to admit it was because their arrangement was becoming more permanent, and that Shikamaru was indeed someone she wanted to spend her life with. She said it was more functional, with two people living together, to get a larger place. Somewhere closer to the capital building so they could both be closer to Gaara. Shikamaru smiled, kissed the top of her head, and said he liked their new home too. She had hit him with her fan.

So it didn't take him long to wander back to their place from the Kazekage's office, he followed the route automatically after years of practice. As he kicked off his shoes in the landing, he called out. "Tem? I'm home!"

He heard her feet running around wooded floors. "You're early!" Temari cried from another room.

"Yeah, Gaara practically kicked me out. Wanted to hear what the council said over my advice," Shikamaru complained.

Temari stuck her head out into the hall, snickering. "You know he's just humoring them."

Shikamaru frowned, following her back into the living room. "Still stings."

"Oh, you'll get over it, crybaby." Teal eyes sparkling as she kissed him in greeting, she dragged him to the couch. She picked up a small box from the table, and handed it to him. "It's a present."

"Present?" Shikamaru searched his memory for an occasion to celebrate. It wasn't near his birthday or an anniversary. "Why-"

"Just open it, no need to look like you did something wrong."

Shikamaru nodded, and carefully untied the string holding the box together, and unwrapped what was inside. "Oh," he said quietly as he revealed a black forehead protector with the Suna symbol engraved into it. "I don't understand?"

"Ah, how I relish the times you say that." Temari joked. "Congratulations, you are now a duel citizen of Konohagakure, and Sunagakure. You now hold the privileges and responsibilities of both villages, and when you are working here you may wear that."

Shikamaru's eyes widened as he turned over the metal and cloth band again, feeling the cold edge with his finger. "How could I not know this was possible?"

"It's an old rule, we had to dig it up, and it took a lot of convincing. Even with the Kazekage on your side, the elders tend to put you down. It took me the time of _two whole missions_ to get this all together, so you better be grateful."

"How did you get them to accept?"

"They wanted to protect our assets," Temari shrugged. "We convinced them you would be a threat if you decided to sell our secrets, so now we can try you for treason."

Shikamaru grimaced. "Oh. Great."

"In the end, it protects you more than it does them. It doesn't seem like a problem now, but if either Hokage or Kazekage decided to remove you from your job, you would still be able to live here," she said as she took his hand and wove her fingers into his. "No one else decides where you belong anymore."

"Nobody except you," Shikamaru said with a lopsided smile.

"Got that right." Temari smirked. "Well, my brothers might object if I threw you out now though. Gaara claims our international relations can't function without you, and Kankuro might just want you as a pet. Either way, I think you're stuck with us."

Shikamaru laughed as he tied the new protector to his right arm, mirroring the one sewn into his shirt on the left. "Wouldn't have it any other way," he said, turning back to Temari and pulling her in for a kiss. "Thank you."


End file.
